* When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter

* The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.

* You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.

* You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.

* You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?

* Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.

* You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife.

* You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.

* Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.