GOLFER:   "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
 CADDY:     "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

GOLFER:   "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
CADDY:     "Try heaven,you've already moved the earth."

GOLFER:   "Do you think my game is improving?"
CADDY:     "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

GOLFER:   "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
CADDY: "Eventually."

GOLFER:   "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
CADDY:     "I don't think so sir.  That would be too much of a coincidence."

GOLFER:   "Please stop checking your watch all the time.  It's too much of a distraction." 
CADDY:     "It's not a watch, it's a compass."

GOLFER:   "How do you like my game?"
CADDY:     "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."